Some Thoughts

It is amazing how the ache from our hearts reaches our eyes. Has that ever happened to you? It is strange how our heart and eyes are connected. An aching heart is never alone, the eyes take the burden. They shed some tears, they cry with the crying heart. Am I making sense?

Tears in eyes and conscience knocking at our hearts makes one feel wide awake. It is faith blooming like new spring leaves. Faith is like a new born child, weak and fragile but spotless, yet it needs constant care; a close watch so that it doesn’t get hurt. Sometimes, when praying, our cupped hands feel the heaviness of the pain, like some magnetic current travelling through the body. On other occasions the lightness of it all makes the hands in prayer feel empty.

I wish many wishes, as is the human nature. The desires and wishful thinking has deep roots within the human heart. As age takes its toll on the human body, the wishes center around nostalgia, the past, the frighteningly fast pace of time. The idea of time slowing down seems tempting. For some old souls, the time’s slow pace, the same mundane days, become an added pain in their already arthritic bones. The clock’s constant tick tock is a reminder of their fading life and vague memories.

I want to write the words before they dissolve into the dark humid night. The sweat beads on my forehead stick to the rubber end of my half chewed pencil. The silhouette of the trees on my beige curtains cast a ghostly impression. The grasshopper continues its benign but rhythmic sound. The friction between the paper and the pencil lead reaches a crescendo and then snap, the nib breaks. The words disconnect and finally dissolve into the quiet walls around me; some slip through the half open window, the rest too tame to escape, sink back into the dark recesses of my thoughts.


Wasting time thinking on an appropriate title for the post

The ink has almost dried and the keys on the board need some tapping on them. There is a film of dust on the screen and a stain here and there on the sleeves. 2013 has also faded away.

Every day of 2014 so far has a been a struggle to pen down something. Something poetic, something realistic, something dreamy. Sleep glides over and fills the senses more than the desire to pour out the jumbled up load of thoughts and reflections out into the world.

Today one glance up towards the majestic winter sky  and I felt like life seeping back into me. Like someone doing CPR on my fragile soul. It was the pearly streaks of clouds in a beautiful rendezvous with the winter sun light. I closed my eyes for a moment and felt the placid, warm sun’s glow. Typical as it would sound, my life seemed to flash back at me rather dramatically. The sounds of the morning chaos of the office and school goers stopped reaching me.

It has to be painful, requires effort, demands exhaustion to push yourself out of the grave that you dig for yourself. There has to come a time to quit being an ostrich and look up, look at the world, to face yourself.

Tomorrow can be mundane, it can be exciting or it can be excruciating. It can also be simply beautiful like today. It doesn’t have to be grand, it doesn’t have to be insignificant either.  The past, the present and tomorrow will keep pushing us towards them. All one has to be do is find the balance.