paranoia

shes high, shes low, really dont know but somethings wrong. kneel, deal or let just be..its all so hard. is it a dream? is it a dream or shes just off herself.. secrets she kept even from herself, but wasnt she told that hiding secrets’ second name is hypocrisy?
you push a chair and throw a file, show your attitude and have no regrets, unluckily it goes down in the pit for your knees are stuck and you fail to get up to level your attitude. oh what a fall, gravity pulls. literally. and so it pulls her back to earth.
It was the distance she walked that ended so soon. she stood there for a couple of seconds. Not a sound in the air, not a cloud in the sky, not a drop in the river. it was a dream and she woke up. the suffocation furthering in a choke broke the abysmal silence.fists clinched, a deep breath in. feels like the lungs would burst like two big balloons pricked by a pin. the explosion is worth the wait i guess….out of her dream, into reality yet all seemed surreal, invincible. she struggled to untangle herself from the bundle of darkness consuming her deep into the pit. no two ways, no choices, only a one way that too closing on her. breathe, breathe with no air around. walk, run,jog, save your life with no earth beneath. she decided she doesnt want to fly.the need to walk, to feel the earth beneath her bare feet surmounting… she didnt want to soar in the air without having felt the sand shes made of. she didnt want the harsh winds to blow her away before she could smell the wet earth…

a paper fluttered to the wind and it said “freedom of soul a mocking reality”. what she meant by that she wasnt aware. so what does it really mean? how could freedom of ur inner self become a mockery?

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8 thoughts on “paranoia

  1. so true… so true… !!! I have had many such random ramblings in the past…. (hence my blog called ‘randomness infinite’)… and thats the whole point of putting things down… or writin em… it helps to clear all the clutter at times… things buggin us… things that even we fail to understand at times…this mubi… is the perfect catharsis… i suggest you carry on !!!

  2. well do not be scared mubi (i still do not know your real name … lol)… its just internal clutter coming out… yes it does not look pretty… bu the good thing is… you got rid of it… and it would not bother you that much any more… besides… it may not make sense to you but it does to me… every single word 🙂 !!!

  3. MJ says:

    @ samiguess what the catharsis didnt seem to work 😦 ehehe@ mhalol, ya i visited ur blog. 2 posts isnt a big deal 😛 thanks for dropping by though

  4. that only means you have more to excrete my dear friend !!! but do write such stuff yaara… even if you do not think it makes sense… somday you may look back at it and think woa… !! I wrote that ?? WOW !!! 😀

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