sometimes life has to take unexpected sudden turns. and this coming from me is kind of shocking because in my case life is rather predictable. it had to go out of routine now? why. these days i am going through a terrible feeling of loss. the sense of loss is painful, it sends an alarm of angst through your body, a bitter taste leaves its mark on your tongue. as if you have a gum stuck to your hand. i know i am fretting but how else do i take out my deep sense of sorrow over my loss. i know the loss has been a materialistic one and i am being one shallow person right now. but i guess its not incorrigible to be that once in a while. at least i am not pretending to be alright with being mugged. yes i am materialistic, no shame.
at one moment you have it, the next moment its gone. the very next reaction. Panic, bewilderment, shock followed by a sense of hollowness and then a long persistent disappointment coupled with a tiny atom of hope lingering somewhere in the background.
now that i am over my loss (yes the above para was a recall of my pre and post shallow, materialistic tragic feelings. i certainly have overcome them. and so i m in a firm position of laughing and analyzing human behaviour through different stages of loss)
the above was something i wrote ridiculously and now that i was checking on my drafts, i came across this piece. just a glimpse of how pathetically i behave under situations of panic. silly me.
but to tell you the truth, i secretly whine over the incident. ha! how ironic